Should Christian Women To Pursue a Christian Men


If you are a single christian woman wanting to find a christian husband you may be frustratingly aware of the the following problems:

  • There are very little (in some cases NO) available and illegible single men in the church
  • Where there are some men, many are hopelessly inept and unprepared for serious relationships.
  • The church has an un-written rule that women should not approach men. You may even agree that it is the men who should be chasing you, but none of the single men are looking in your direction much less approaching you.
  • The church teaches that you should marry within the faith according to 1 Cor 6:14 – Be not unequally yoked. Unfortunately it seems only the secular men are approaching or even hunting (harassing in some cases) you.
  • It is difficult to contain yourself. Hidden sexual desires haunt your soul and body from time to time. Additionally every time you see or hold a baby you start brooding, wishing you can marry and have children of your own.
  • You have a deep desire to love and be loved


What are be possible solutions:

You can decide to remain single and childless. As much as you would prefer not to, you will go this route if God allows it.

Some women leave church, have a child and then repent and return to chuch, but this is not an option for you

In one case I heard of one young woman had artificial insemination with sperm form a bank. That is certainly a new and costly one with lots of implications.

Rather than passively wait for a spouse you can pray and active seek one.

This is exactly what Ps Lester Barrie proposes that women should consider the option of pursuing a man. Before you switch totally off I suggest that you give him a hearing. Just listen to the guy and put your comments about it below.


At about 1:40 mins he contends that Proverbs 18:22 is not about about how to initiate a relationship. He says it about a man’s ability and capacity to love and about the value of a good and godly wife.

Well Lester is actually on to something because I looked it up myself. When I researched the verse is not a recipe or prescription of how to find a spouse but rather the benefits of finding a good Wife.

It is almost like saying that if you find a good job you are blessed and favoured by God. It is not commenting on how you actually found the job. Some people actively search while praying for guidance and other have the blessing of a job being offered to them. Either way its a blessing. More info can be found at Bible hub.

At 2:33 mins he says “Some women should think about pursuing a man.”

His advice is for “Saved, Sanctified and Holy Ghost filled women”, not for promiscuous and gullible women.

At 3:53 mins he say he is not saying that the woman should pursue “romance or marriage”. He claims that women should pursue friendship with a man who you are interested in.

Well the question is – What if you are already his friend?

He also says men would fall in love with their friends faster than any one else. This is not necessarily true but it does happen.

What is true is that PROXIMITY is important. Friendship is one of the best ways to be in close proximity to someone who you are interested in.

At 4:48 mins he claims that Ruth pursued a Godly friendship with Boaz then asked him to marry her. I am not sure that is true. A reading to the story shoes that Ruth was in the field of Boaz and it was Boaz who showed interest in her. He asked about her, gave her special privileges and later initiated conversation with her. Then Naomi her mother in law told realized Boaz may be interested in her and told how to go about securing a marriage with. Read Ruth 2 and 3.

Ps Barrie says you should pursue Godly Friendships, but how?

He has painfully neglected to tell how women should do this?

And what should you do to when you are friends with the person?

He claims you should not pursue romance or marriage, so what should you do if you are stuck in the friendship zone?

If you want answers to these questions why not check this helpful online course “How to find your christian husband”



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